$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I love having hate sex.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
