So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Damn victory sex feels great
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
