Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Someone shit on the floor
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
