So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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