toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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