Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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