First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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