He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
