I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
