Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
