I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
