you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
