Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
