Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
