I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
