if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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