can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
