I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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