how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
