Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
