Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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