Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
