If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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