I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
