lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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