I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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