How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
