I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i drank out of a bidet.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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