Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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