i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
