Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
