with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
