We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
