i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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