Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
