sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just pee around me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
