Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
