He asked me if I "almost moaned"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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