she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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