let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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