I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
