I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
