Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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