I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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