How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Randomize
