I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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