Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize