i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
