I think I died a long time ago.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
