Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
