That's when you crack a 10am beer
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
