I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
