glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize