theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
