so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
someone owes me an orgasm
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You are the jesus of drinking
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
