Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize