If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
