I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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