I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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