god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
