Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
