We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
