Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
