Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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