dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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